“You do not always need the right words. Sometimes your presence is enough to begin.”
“Pray More” Should Not Be Our Only Response
When someone tells us they are suffering, they do not always need a sermon. Sometimes they need someone to listen.
- listen without judging;
- do not minimize what they are experiencing;
- do not compare their situation with our own;
- do not give opinions about what we do not understand;
- pray with them;
- stay beside them;
- remind them that they are not alone;
- encourage them to speak with a professional;
- walk with them with love, patience, and compassion.
A faith community can become a place where people find listening, acceptance, and wise direction. Our churches should be places where a person can say, “I am not okay.” “I need help.” without being condemned, discriminated against, or considered someone who does not have enough faith.
When Should You Seek Help?
Temporary sadness and clinical depression are not the same thing. When significant symptoms last for two weeks or more and begin to interfere with work, school, relationships, sleep, eating, or daily activities, it is important to speak with a healthcare professional.
Treatment may include psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of approaches. Treatment depends on each person’s needs and a professional evaluation.
Words We Should Avoid
- “You have to be strong.”
- “Stop thinking about it.”
- “You have everything to be happy.”
- “Other people have it worse than you.”
- “You need to pray more.”
- “A Christian should not be depressed.”
- “I went through the same thing; I know exactly what you are experiencing.”
- “If it were me, I would already be over it.”
These words can make the person feel guilty, misunderstood, or as though they do not have the right to suffer. Inner suffering deserves the same compassion as a wound we can see.
A Message of Hope
If you are going through a period of depression, your suffering deserves to be heard. Talk with someone you trust. Seek professional help when you need it. And if faith is part of your life, continue to seek God for comfort and strength as you move forward.
Healing can begin with a prayer, a conversation, an appointment, or a few simple words: “I need help.”
Let us respect people living with depression.
Let us listen without judging them.
Let us avoid discrimination. Let us encourage them to seek help.
Let us walk beside them with love, patience, and compassion.
Because a person who is depressed does not need condemnation; they need understanding, support, and hope.
IF YOU ARE IN A CRISIS
If you or someone you know in the United States is thinking about suicide or self-harm, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger or a life-threatening emergency, call 911. If you are in another country, contact local emergency services or a crisis line available where you live.
